Misfortune Teller
by Mystical Authoress
Summary: AU. Meister's found himself stuck in a carnival, of all places. He thinks he's dreaming. However, this carnival is going to be a total nightmare... (Summary sucks, but the story is better than this...)


**Author note: I do not own Yakitate! Japan. Nor do I own any of the music from the short film 'The Devil's Carnival' that inspired this. Or the film itself that kind of inspired this.**

**Basically, this came up when I first discovered 'The Devil's Carnival.' I was figuring out who Emilie Autumn was by searching on Wikipedia and then, out of curiousity, I had to find out what the 'Devil's Carnival' was about-the title alone intrigued me-and that's how I found out about 'The Devil's Carnival' and how I got inspired to write this fic by listening to some of the songs from that film.**

**Warning: AU, some violence, crossdressing, Carnival/Carnie! versions of the Yakitate! Japan people, kind-of possessive implied one-sided Carnie!MeisterxMeister Kirisaki**

**Constructive Criticism would be great, and I hope you guys read, review and enjoy! Thanks!**

* * *

_**Misfortune Teller**_

* * *

"What in the world..."

Meister Sylvan Kirisaki barely had an idea of where he was. He stared around quietly, taking in the view.

_Roller coasters. Cotton candy. Ferris wheel. All sorts of game booths. __**Think.**_

This was a carnival. Meister found himself aware of that fact.

But then, how did he even get here in the first place?

He tried to remember. _What did I do before now? Right, I was getting ready to go to sleep and then...Something happened. Maybe I just fell asleep. Maybe this is a dream. That does make sense, but then again, I don't think I've ever dreamt anything like this before. Nothing this elaborate, anyway._

He looked down at his attire, consisting of his usual work clothing. This included the white frilled shirt and red velvet bow, as well as trousers and shoes matching the shirt. And, of course, there was the titanium mask as well, obscuring his face from the public. He let out a quiet chuckle.

_Considering my attire, I wouldn't be surprised if some random person asks if I'm one of the carnies. _

People. He looked around. There was practically no one around here. Despite all the game booths up and running, as well as the ferris wheel, the roller coaster, and other rides working, he didn't really see any human beings besides himself around here.

At least, not until _they _attacked him out of the blue.

* * *

Girls. One, two, three, three girls. All of them leering at him with their familiar-looking, but demonic faces.

Yukino, Mizuno and Tsukino Azusagawa-the girls looked an awful lot like them, except their attire was different. They wore ragged dresses, with shades of black and grey adorning their figures. Their hands seemed to be talons, claws, something like that. Meister was shocked at their appearance, wait-no. He was terrified out of heck that they were devils.

They were grabbing at him, ripping at his clothing, and cackling with pure delight as he let out a whimper (it was reflex out of fear) and tried to wriggle away from them. It was no use, as the Tsukino look-alike wrenched his arms behind his back, and the Mizuno-look-alike let out a higher-pitched cackle as the Yukino clone licked her lips, grinning before puckering up her lips.

"No...No!" Meister yelled, struggling against Tsukino's grasp and trying his best _not _to get kissed by the Yukino clone. "Let me go, now!" He turned his head away from the Yukino clone, who just simply ripped off his titanium mask with one clawed hand. She crushed it in her hand, and he stared as the pieces of his titanium mask fell to the dirt ground below. She then grabbed his face, forcing him to see her monstrous face, before leaning close to press her slimy lips to his.

A roar of flames suddenly scattered the demonic maidens, and Meister felt himself get dropped to the ground, landing face first in the dirt. On instinct, he curled up on the ground, worried of what would happen as shouts and roars of flames howled above him.

Everything went silent suddenly. Cautiously, slowly, he got to his knees to see a hand extended to him. He took the hand as a sign of help, of concern, and stood.

"Thank you," Meister started, before turning to face the one who saved him. "Thank-"

He stopped mid-sentence as soon as he saw the face of Kai Suwabara.

* * *

The Suwabara-clone looked at him, with slight confusion on his face. "Is there anything wrong?" The shirtless samurai-look-alike asked Meister.

Meister shook his head. "No, sorry...It's just that you looked like a certain person I know." He responded quietly. He looked around, before looking down at his somewhat-torn clothing. "Is there a map of this place, by any chance? And...Who were those girls?"

The Suwa-look-alike sighed, briefly glancing in the direction where the girls fled from him moments ago. "Those girls...They're the acrobats of this carnival, unfortunately. They like picking on people that come from outside the carnival, particularly men..." He crossed his arms as he spoke. "It's best to avoid them if you can." He paused, before speaking up. "Right, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm the Strongman of this carnival, though I also work as a Firebreather when necessary. You?"

"Sylvan Kirisaki." Meister felt it was okay to trust this guy. He seemed much more sane than the other people so far. "I'm grateful for your help."

"No problem. Oh, and..." The Strongman paused, digging into his pants pockets before coming up with nothing. "Sorry. I don't have a map." He muttered quietly, before pointing to Meister's left. "I think you might be able to find some advice if you keep going that way, though. The Fortuneteller should be around there."

_Fortuneteller? Sounds safe. I hope I don't bump into any other crazy ones like the acrobats on the way there..._

"I think I will go get some advice. Thank you." Meister responded, before dashing off. "Thank you!"

The Strongman waved to Meister briefly as the blond left his sight. He then leaned against an empty game booth, before taking out a cigar and lighting it with flames that burst from his left hand. "He's definitely in for misfortune." He muttered to himself. "I just know it."

* * *

Meister let out a long sigh as he looked around. There were less game booths in this area, and more tents about. Signs were above the tent flaps, and he read each one carefully.

_Snacks-nope._

_Bathroom-no._

_Magician-no-_

_Wait, wait, wait. Magician?_

Immediately, Meister remembered, back in his childhood, when he first saw a magician on the streets. He'd seen the crowd 'ooh' and 'aah' as the tricks were performed, and he remembered running over to that magician and begging him to teach him those very tricks. The magician didn't comply with that, but instead he was kind enough to give him a pack of playing cards and a book on magic. _That_ was how Meister got into those magic tricks in the same place to attract customers to sell bread to.

_I'm sure the Magician should be harmless. At least I hope so. But then again, I should go find that Fortuneteller and hopefully get advice..._

Before he could continue with his thoughts, a man came out of the tent. He wore a frilled white shirt, with black pants and matching blazer. Black gloves adorned his hands and he carried a top hat in one of them. He took out a handkerchief, dabbing it at his forehead before his dark eyes connected with Meister's own.

_Kuroyanagi-kun?_

"Well," The Kuroyanagi-look-alike started, putting away the handkerchief and walking towards him, "This is interesting...I haven't seen any outsiders around here in a while." He looked at Meister's torn clothing. "And judging from your current attire...You ran into those Acrobats, didn't you? It's remarkable that they're not stalking you or anything now."

Meister glanced behind him, checking for any acrobats, but none were to be found. He then turned to the Kuroyanagi-look-alike. "Yes, I did run into them. The Strongman helped me out and said the Fortuneteller would be around here." Meister explained, nodding once. "I was intruiged by the fact that there was a Magician here-I didn't know about it. I don't have a map."

"I see..." The Magician paused, before plucking a ticket from behind Meister's ear and handing it to him. "Here. It might help, as long as you don't lose it."

Meister was about to say 'Thank you,' when all of a sudden, a laugh howled loudly, and the two turned to see a man perched on the top of the Magician's tent.

"Lose it? _Lose it!? REALLY!?" _The man cackled. "He will lose it, he surely will!"

"Shut the heck up, Clown!" The Magician snapped and glared at him. The Clown just let out another laugh, before jumping out of sight. The Magician sighed, before turning to Meister. "Sorry about that. He's the Clown, and he's pretty insane. Just as much as the Acrobats, in my opinion. Try to avoid him. He's not as harmful as them, but he can figure out anyone's weakness in a snap. That's definitely not good for outsiders like you."

"Thanks for the hint." Meister responded, giving a short nod. He paused, before asking quickly. "Is the Fortuneteller insane as the Acrobats or Clown? Or is he or she sane like you or, let's say the Strongman?" He really needed to know that. It would be terrible if the Fortuneteller went berserk on him...

"No, I don't think the Fortuneteller is that insane. But the Fortuneteller isn't completely sane either, so you should be careful. The Fortuneteller loves visitors an awful lot, and I do mean a lot." The raven-haired Magician told him. "Be careful. It's that way." He finished, pointing to a nearby tent, striped with pure white and smoky grey.

"Thank you." Meister whispered quietly, before leaving him. The Magician watched him go, before turning to the Clown, who had crept up behind him.

"Really, you know you can't scare me like that. Try something else next time." The Magician muttered, and the Clown just let out a huff in response.

* * *

This was it. The Fortuneteller's tent.

_Miss Fortune, that's what it says on the sign. It's not the most creative name, but if she's the fortuneteller, I probably shouldn't mention that. Not good to get her mad, who knows what she could do if angered..._

Meister knew that he needed advice, and he needed it as soon as possible. How else could he figure a way out of here? He wasn't really sure if he could bear any more crazy people. The Strongman and Magician were helpful, but what if the Acrobats came back, or if the Clown stalked him not far from his view? Surely, that wouldn't be good.

He took a deep breath, before walking into the tent.

It was much more spacious than he assumed; a small table was set in the middle of the room, and a cushion in front of it. Meister assumed he was supposed to sit down there, and he did. He looked across the table, to see who he assumed was the Fortuneteller.

She was draped in a gown of silk, with white frills and feathers adorning the bodice. The skirt part of the gown came out like one of those classic princess gowns, except it it was shorter at the front and revealed her long legs from mid-thigh down. Her shoes looked a bit like faded, rose pink ballet slippers, and she didn't seem to wear much makeup with the exception of the mascara about her eyes. Her long, blonde hair was draped over her left shoulder, and was about the same length as his own.

"Ah, an outsider. How lovely..." She murmured, smiling at him. She extended a hand towards him. "Lend me your hand, so I may tell your fortune?"

"That's all it takes?" Meister asked, curious. "No cards? No crystal ball?"

"I am not like other so-called fortunetellers, I can assure you." She spoke, her light blue eyes gazing into his. "Lend me your hand."

Meister obeyed, sliding his right hand over to her two hands. They grasped his hand firmly, but gently, and she closed her eyes. Her hands traced his own, and she spoke after a moment of silence. "My, my...Today is a lucky day. Misfortune shall claim you, yet it will turn out...Somewhat beneficial in the end for someone." She ended, opening her eyes and smirking slightly.

"Is there anything that can tell me how to get out of here?" Meister asked, confused as he let go of her and stood up. "And I'm not sure if misfortune is really a good thing...I'm trying to stay out of that."

"Well," Miss Fortune started, standing up as well, "To get out of here...The exit takes much finding. It takes so much looking and searching that one may go mad looking for it. For someone like you, it wouldn't be exactly...A good idea." She whispered quietly. "The madness may be maddening here, but the carnival is such fun. 'Tis a shame that you wish to leave..."

_What? I don't understand..._

"Um, I think I'll just go now, thank you...For your advice..." He trailed off awkwardly, slowly starting to back away from her.

She gave a look towards him that seemed to be on the fine line between seriousness and a sort of playful tone. "Payment?" She asked, holding out her hand. "One ticket."

One ticket? _Wait a moment..._

Meister immediately dug into his pants pockets, but there was no ticket to be found.

"Oh dear." He muttered aloud. "Shoot, I must have lost the ticket the Magician gave me earlier..." He looked up at her. "Is there any other way I can pay besides through tickets?" He asked frantically, hoping that she wouldn't be upset.

She paused, before smiling a little. "Yes, yes. It's alright...Payment in my case doesn't necessarily have to be through...Tickets." She took out a small dagger, out of nowhere. "You could give me an eye." She started, pointing at his left eye with her dagger. "A finger." She gestured to his right hand with the dagger. "Or maybe even an ear." She laughed a little at this.

Meister cringed. "Is there any alternative way to paying besides body parts?" He asked, not wanting to get anything chopped off. "Maybe a lock of my hair? Something a little less...Harmful?"

She paused once more, before taking a step closer to him. "Well," She started once more, "Maybe a kiss."

"A kiss." He repeated quietly, and she nodded. _I think it's the least harm done. I suppose I have no other choice, unless I want bodily pain..._

He gave a quiet nod, and she leaned forwards, pressing her lips to his.

She tasted like cotton candy and candy apples, maybe with hints of candy corn, too. He was sure of that. He hoped he didn't have bad breath or the like, but as soon as those thoughts came up they were taken away by the physical feeling. Her lips were softer than he expected, warmer, and yet...Cold at the same time. It was odd, and interesting, but it leaned more towards the odd side of the scale. He wasn't sure how deep the kissing was now-he'd only paid attention to simply feeling and revelling in the kiss, but he was sure it wasn't completely French kissing, but it wasn't a simple peck on the lips, either. And-

When they seperated after what seemed like a very long time, he tasted blood as he licked his lips. He looked up at her, and she simply smiled.

"You bit me." He murmured softly, realizing he must have sounded very stupid and ridiculous. She let out a quick giggle, and took out a handkerchief, dabbing at his mouth with it. "Thank you." He spoke after the action was done, and he left the tent.

* * *

There was something odd about that Fortuneteller. Meister was sure of that as he walked past several tents.

_Misfortune shall claim you. Weird. Misfortune...Miss Fortune...Misfortune...Miss Fortune? Wait, what?_

Meister stopped in his tracks, his right hand touching his lips as he realized something.

_Misfortune shall claim you._

Miss_ Fortune shall claim you._

_Who did Miss Fortune look like? Who did she-_

_She? She wasn't a-_

_She was a he. He's...He was an alternate version of..._

_Me._

As soon as Meister realized this, he suddenly blacked out.

* * *

He gasped, his eyes wide as he awoke. He felt himself lying in bed, and he sighed of relief.

_Thank goodness...That was just some crazy nightmare-_

That thought stopped in its tracks as Miss Fortune stood right by his bedside, looking down at him. _He _smiled as he caressed his other's face with one hand. Meister shivered at the touch, but Miss Fortune's smile just seemed to widen a little. He tried to move a little, and he realized he wasn't wearing his normal clothing, no, he was in a _dress _of all things.

"You'd make a pretty doll." Miss Fortune started. "I took the liberty of dressing you up like one of those pretty porcelain dolls. You're better than any of those, ever. And you're mine. You might be set up as some grand prize for a game, but..."

_No. NO. Nonononononononononopleasest opno!_

"You're mine. I won't let you be taken away by anyone. No one. Ever."

Meister knew, right then, that the most insane of all might not be the ones who act very insane, but the ones who act subtly insane, too. And he was too late to realize that.

* * *

**Author note: If any of you readers were confused by who was the carnie version of who, here you go.**

**Acrobats-Yukino, Tsukino and Mizuno-I felt like since they're sisters, they'd probably look good as acrobats. They're also partially inspired by the characters of Wick and the Woe Maidens from 'The Devil's Carnival.'**

**Strongman/Firebreather-Kai Suwabara-Who can't see Kai as a strongman? And considering he has solar gauntlets, I figured he'd make a good firebreather as well.**

**Magician-Ryou Kuroyanagi-I'm sure some of you might have thought Meister would have been the magician, considering that he can do magic tricks, but no, it's Kuroyanagi-san. I don't really know why I chose him exactly, but I wanted to make Meister the fortuneteller already, so I figured Kuroyanagi would make a decent magician.**

**Clown-Pierrot-It's really obvious why, if you've read/watched the Monaco Cup Arc. No need for explanation.**

**Fortuneteller/Diva-Meister Kirisaki-I just had to. I felt like cross-dressing him again, and this was the best I could get to. And besides, fortunetellers are kind of doing magic stuff, right?**

**I hope you guys enjoyed the fic, and I hope you guys review! Thanks for reading!**


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